Skip to main content

Pet to Threat and The Feeling of Moral Superiority

"The most disrespected person in America, is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America, is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the Black woman." - Malcom X

This statement is so profound, if for no other reason than the fact that it is evergreen. Black women, while being not only the backbone of this country, but also the reason the country is still intact, are still disrespected, discarded, and dismissed. That is, of course, until we are needed. Until our labor is needed. Until our work is needed. Being a content creator whose work centers around anti-racism and decolonizing work, I see this behavior so often. But I see it in such a way that it's less than obvious to someone not looking for it, or someone who is unfamiliar with how it presents. 

When Black women find ourselves in a position of teaching and educating, we also find ourselves in a position of pet to threat. I thank my best friend for that phrase. Simply put, when we are not making people uncomfortable, specifically white people, and even more specifically white women, we are lauded. We're praised, we're put on a pedestal. We are essentially the best thing that's ever happened to people. And this is because we're providing a service, we're providing labor. And we're doing it in a way that makes us palatable and keeps people comfortable. And in those moments, we are so loved. We are brilliant. We're queens. Every type of praise you can think of. 

And then we say something that activates big feelings. Then we say something that has them thinking about and reacting to how they have upheld white supremacy and racism in the past. We might say something about how they continue to uphold the patriarchy. We say anything, any one single thing, that removes them from the utopia they created for themselves by saying "I'm an ally!" And in an instant, we are attacking. We are angry, we're divisive, we're condescending. we are everything opposite of what we were just moments before. It is in those moments we see that the complacency of white people staying in their privilege and doing the work in words only is far more comfortable than actually decolonizing. It is in those moments that we see the egos rising to the surface, and from there, that role of pet that Black women were once placed in becomes a threat. 

Simply by daring to disrupt the illusion of being active in anti racism work to show the reality that...well, that for some people it sounds good to do it. So they can say they're a "good" person. The reason why this doesn't work is that it comes from a place of feeling morally superior. Being better than "those" people, the ones that blatantly say they have no interest in decolonizing. 

The problem with that feeling appearing, that feeling of moral superiority is the white supremacy that's right under the surface. The thing that is activated when feelings of discomfort appear. 

And until that is acknowledged, Black women will continue to be the most disrespected person in America. 

Comments

  1. Beautifully written, and gives me much to reflect on and process. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for this. It was perfectly written.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So grateful for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you ❤️ this will spur some reflection for me! PS - Soogia needs to put you in a skin care ad 😊

    ReplyDelete
  5. ❤️❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a much needed reminder. Thankful for your voice. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have so much learning and unlearning to do. Thank you for your work.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for this, I have a lot of reflection to do.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Let's Talk Conflict

We need to talk about conflict. Conflict is something that society has learned to fear, to avoid at all costs. We have been taught that conflict is inherently bad, that there isn't a way to come away from it in a healthy way. And that simply isn't true. Conflict, by definition, is a difference of opinion or a disagreement, two things that happen daily. Where we run into issues is the thought that a disagreement has to become an argument, which has to end in a volatile manner. And without the concept of conflict acceptance, that is the outcome. So what do we do? The first thing is acknowledging what conflict acceptance is. Take it at the base level of definition, it is accepting that conflict is something that occurs and accepting that conflict is two different thoughts facing each other. A good example of conflicting thoughts is the age old debate of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" (It does by the way). The different ways that people feel about that are conflicting

Grief - Love With No Place To Go

Grief. The word in itself sometimes has me catching my breath in anticipation of the sadness that accompanies it. It is such a complex thing to navigate, if for no other reason than you just do not know how it is going to show up. You don't know how it's going to make you feel, you don't know how you're going to respond...you just don't know. And that in and of itself is so hard because how do you prepare?  There are so many platitudes about grief and loss. I'm sure we're familiar with them. "It'll get easier." "They wouldn't want you to be sad." And so many more. I believe they come from a good place, a place of good intentions. But the impact...that impact doesn't always hit like it's intended to. If we take "It'll get easier", the sentiment is that over time, grief will get easier to navigate, but it's a little more complex than that. Managing grief gets different. There are days when the grief is so o