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Showing posts from June, 2023

The Disappointment That Is The Supreme Court

Being at the intersection of so many marginalized identities is simultaneously beautiful and exhausting. The Supreme Court decisions over the last few days have me quite literally exhausted as a Black queer woman. The decision about affirmative action, while it is currently for academic applications, this is clearly the beginning. It is also important to note that the legacy student policy has not been revoked. Statistically we know that white women benefit the most from affirmative action, yet the people that will feel the brunt of this decision the most are Black people. Add to the situation that an Asian American has been used as an agent of white supremacy, and the anti Blackness is ramped up even more. The thing about issues that can and do affect people of color is that it will hit Black people doubly, because the hate of Black people doesn't stop at white people.  That brings me to today's Supreme Court ruling on the Denver case where Lorie Smith claimed her religious be

Pet to Threat and The Feeling of Moral Superiority

"The most disrespected person in America, is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America, is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the Black woman." - Malcom X This statement is so profound, if for no other reason than the fact that it is evergreen. Black women, while being not only the backbone of this country, but also the reason the country is still intact, are still disrespected, discarded, and dismissed. That is, of course, until we are needed. Until our labor is needed. Until our work is needed. Being a content creator whose work centers around anti-racism and decolonizing work, I see this behavior so often. But I see it in such a way that it's less than obvious to someone not looking for it, or someone who is unfamiliar with how it presents.  When Black women find ourselves in a position of teaching and educating, we also find ourselves in a position of pet to threat. I thank my best friend for that phrase. Simply put, when we are no

Post Corporate World Healing

Making the decision to leave the corporate world has been simultaneously the happiest and scariest event I've experienced in a long time. I am so happy to be able to pour into myself. I am so happy to be able to be creative, to teach, to rediscover myself. And with that also comes that pesky voice in my ear saying "but what if it doesn't work out?" I've been sitting with that fear. I've been sitting with it, not just to avoid that type of positivity that is expected. The if it's meant to be it will be, the don't worry, it'll all work out. I've been sitting with it because I recognize that I am also beginning a whole different type of healing.  I've been working in the corporate world, for someone else, for almost 30 years. It's what I've known. It's what has been comfortable to me, and I don't mean comfortable in the warm and fuzzy way, I mean in the way of knowing that I was making ends meet, able to feed and house myself,

Grief - Love With No Place To Go

Grief. The word in itself sometimes has me catching my breath in anticipation of the sadness that accompanies it. It is such a complex thing to navigate, if for no other reason than you just do not know how it is going to show up. You don't know how it's going to make you feel, you don't know how you're going to just don't know. And that in and of itself is so hard because how do you prepare?  There are so many platitudes about grief and loss. I'm sure we're familiar with them. "It'll get easier." "They wouldn't want you to be sad." And so many more. I believe they come from a good place, a place of good intentions. But the impact...that impact doesn't always hit like it's intended to. If we take "It'll get easier", the sentiment is that over time, grief will get easier to navigate, but it's a little more complex than that. Managing grief gets different. There are days when the grief is so o

Let's Talk Conflict

We need to talk about conflict. Conflict is something that society has learned to fear, to avoid at all costs. We have been taught that conflict is inherently bad, that there isn't a way to come away from it in a healthy way. And that simply isn't true. Conflict, by definition, is a difference of opinion or a disagreement, two things that happen daily. Where we run into issues is the thought that a disagreement has to become an argument, which has to end in a volatile manner. And without the concept of conflict acceptance, that is the outcome. So what do we do? The first thing is acknowledging what conflict acceptance is. Take it at the base level of definition, it is accepting that conflict is something that occurs and accepting that conflict is two different thoughts facing each other. A good example of conflicting thoughts is the age old debate of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" (It does by the way). The different ways that people feel about that are conflicting