Skip to main content

Black Women Deserve Protection

I've titled this Black women deserve protection, however, even typing that, I can acknowledge that the statement is one that's considered a myth. Earlier this week, a Black woman was hit in the face with a brick by a man after telling him no when he asked for her phone number. In addition to her being hit by a brick, there were several men standing around watching the incident. And those same people did nothing. They didn't step in, nor did they do anything to help her after the fact. Instead, after she made the incident public, people decided instead to take to social media to share their opinions on what happened to this woman. Their opinions on the violent attack of another woman. 

TikTok lives are often a place where you can often catch people discussing current events. It is not uncommon for there to be debates about any number of things. The assault that Rho experienced quickly became a topic for many content creators. People were going so far as to post a screenshot of her picture from the hospital. Men at large could not WAIT to share their feelings on the protection of women. I say men at large, because there were also women speaking from a place of internalized misogyny, which is another conversation in itself. Back to the response from men - when discussing the topic of nothing being done for Rho after the attack, the answers varied anywhere from "I have to think about my family, I have to get home safe to them" to "she really just should have smiled and given out her number." The majority of the responses that were seen were those placing the responsibility at Rho's feet for her own attack. The major thing that was missed, however, is that help looks many different ways. There was the option to step in as the man was walking to get the brick, there was the option to call the authorities after it happened, hell the option to simply ask Rho if she was okay and if she needed anything was there. Instead, nothing was done. 

The frustration with the responses from women is that they were using the very words of their oppressors to try and justify what had happened to another woman. To see and hear women say that Rho deserved it because she was less desirable, that she deserved it because she was queer, even so far as to say she was trans, and therefore definitely didn't deserve the help. Never mind the fact that Rho is a cisgender woman, that thinking further pushed the narrative that she didn't need the help of men. 

Another argument given as to why the protection or intervention wasn't needed for Rho came from a video of her where she is stating that men are not the protectors, that women are the protectors of other women. She went further to make the statement of "men ain't shit" and while a logical response could have, and should have, been to sit with what was being said and understand why it was being said, men proved the very point she was making. "Why should we protect her, look at what she said about men! She said men ain't protecting women, so why should we?!" Quite literally proving the point that was being made, largely in part due to not liking the delivery of the message and/or who was delivering the message. 

For me personally, the biggest frustration about these excuses for not doing anything comes from the fact that Black women have always been and continue to be the protectors of everyone. Black women are the ones that make sure everyone is okay while also making sure that we're okay. Even with being the most disrespected people in America, we fight to keep us all safe. 

And in the midst of doing all that we can to keep everyone safe, again with the knowledge that liberation for us is liberation for all of us, we are faced with men practically racing to tell us how much they, to not mince words, hate us. They are showing us in so many ways that the only time they deem us even remotely deserving of protection and respect is if we are in some way a possession of theirs. Whether that's a wife, partner, or child, that is when we can expect the protection to be there. And even that is conditional, because the moment that we "step out of line", that layer of protection is then stripped away. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pet to Threat and The Feeling of Moral Superiority

"The most disrespected person in America, is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America, is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the Black woman." - Malcom X This statement is so profound, if for no other reason than the fact that it is evergreen. Black women, while being not only the backbone of this country, but also the reason the country is still intact, are still disrespected, discarded, and dismissed. That is, of course, until we are needed. Until our labor is needed. Until our work is needed. Being a content creator whose work centers around anti-racism and decolonizing work, I see this behavior so often. But I see it in such a way that it's less than obvious to someone not looking for it, or someone who is unfamiliar with how it presents.  When Black women find ourselves in a position of teaching and educating, we also find ourselves in a position of pet to threat. I thank my best friend for that phrase. Simply put, when we are no...

Post Corporate World Healing

Making the decision to leave the corporate world has been simultaneously the happiest and scariest event I've experienced in a long time. I am so happy to be able to pour into myself. I am so happy to be able to be creative, to teach, to rediscover myself. And with that also comes that pesky voice in my ear saying "but what if it doesn't work out?" I've been sitting with that fear. I've been sitting with it, not just to avoid that type of positivity that is expected. The if it's meant to be it will be, the don't worry, it'll all work out. I've been sitting with it because I recognize that I am also beginning a whole different type of healing.  I've been working in the corporate world, for someone else, for almost 30 years. It's what I've known. It's what has been comfortable to me, and I don't mean comfortable in the warm and fuzzy way, I mean in the way of knowing that I was making ends meet, able to feed and house myself, ...

Let's Talk Conflict

We need to talk about conflict. Conflict is something that society has learned to fear, to avoid at all costs. We have been taught that conflict is inherently bad, that there isn't a way to come away from it in a healthy way. And that simply isn't true. Conflict, by definition, is a difference of opinion or a disagreement, two things that happen daily. Where we run into issues is the thought that a disagreement has to become an argument, which has to end in a volatile manner. And without the concept of conflict acceptance, that is the outcome. So what do we do? The first thing is acknowledging what conflict acceptance is. Take it at the base level of definition, it is accepting that conflict is something that occurs and accepting that conflict is two different thoughts facing each other. A good example of conflicting thoughts is the age old debate of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" (It does by the way). The different ways that people feel about that are conflicting ...